Holiday Escape
by caitgirl1
Summary: The gang headed off for a nice holiday in Spain only for it to be interrupted by none other than the best villain of all time. Tanith is not amused to say the least.


**Hey lads! Here is another quick little one shot! I hope you enjoy it! I have been thinking about this idea for a while and I hope I did it justice. I wrote it really late at night so hopefully there aren't too many mistakes! Anyway, please read and enjoy!**

The beach was calm and quiet. Palm trees danced in the gentle breeze and everything was relaxed. Until he showed up.

It was just typical. The whole point of Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Tanith and Ghastly going to Barcelona was so they could escape their work for just a week. One week. That's all they asked for. But of course, their work just had to follow them!

Valkyrie, Skulduggery and Ghastly had been relaxing on the beach, soaking in some Vitamin D, well, except for Skulduggery. He just looked unbelievably stupid with his coat and gloves but he didn't exactly have a choice. The whole walking, talking skeleton thing might freak out a few people.

Tanith was going to go down and meet them in a few minutes on the beach. And then she showed up with him.

Scapegrace had somehow managed to get Tanith into handcuffs. How he managed it was a complete mystery because Tanith could beat him to a pulp even if she didn't have her sword. But the fact was he did. And now he was strolling down the beach towards the Skeleton Detective and his companions.

Scapegrace was pressing a knife into Tanith's throat, trying to keep her from moving as well as keep her friends from making a move. Skulduggery and the others all got to their feet. How the hell had the thickest villain ever managed to find them? In a foreign country and everything! He wouldn't have managed that back in Ireland!

"Scapegrace, fancy meeting you here." Skulduggery took the lead.

"Skulduggery Pleasant. I thought it was about time you saw the extent of my criminal abilities. How you've underestimated my skills. What better a way to show you what I can do by capturing one of your own friends!" Scapegrace proclaimed proudly.

"Oh please! You weren't even the one that handcuffed me!" Tanith argued.

"Doesn't matter how I got to you, just that I did. Now shut up! I'm trying to do my thing here!" Scapegrace pressed the blade harder against Tanith's smooth skin. That managed to keep her quiet.

"Scapegrace, let her go. You know you can't win this. And besides, now that you have her what are you even going to do with her?" Skulduggery questioned, curiosity plain in this voice.

"Well, Skulduggery. I was getting to that. So I was going to uh...I was... I'm going to kill her! It's going to be an absolute work of art. Her blood is going to paint a thousand words and...and it's going to be amazing. It's going to be the best murder I've ever done. And you're all going to watch as I work my magic."

"Firstly, it's going to be your first kill so obviously it would be your best. Secondly, you can have her. She was never much use to us anyway." Skulduggery sat back down in his chair and pulled out a book.

"But...but she's your friend. You don't want to see your friend murdered by The Killer Supreme now do you?"

"Actually we don't mind. Her British accent was getting on my nerves. And who fights with a sword anymore? That's totally old school."

"But…she...you...what?"

Scapegrace stared at them in shock. He hadn't expected this outcome. What was the point in capturing Skulduggery's friend and killing her if he didn't even like her anymore? What the hell was he going to do now?

"Now Scapegrace, I'm going to give you a lesson on how to be a better villain," Skulduggery put his book in his lap and looked over at the helpless criminal "Firstly, never believe everything your foes say to you. They tend to lie in these situations. Secondly, always keep an eye on your enemies so that none of them slip past your defences. You never know where they might come from next"

"Oh please, nobody could ever slip past my defences. I'm way too smart and-"

Scapegrace was cut short by a punch from Ghastly, who had managed to slip behind Scapegrace. The punch wracked his brain and he tumbled backwards into the sand, releasing Tanith immediately. The knife fell into the sand also.

Tanith stumbled over to Valkyrie's side, clearly annoyed and embarrassed by how she had been caught by one of the worst villains in history. She was probably going to be in a mood for a while. Especially since none of them had a key for the handcuffs.

Scapegrace had managed to get back to his feet but he was swaying like a man who had just gotten out of a pub after a good night out. He had double vision and felt nauseous.

"Scapegrace, I am putting you under arrest for attempted murder and just generally being stupid. Anything you say can and will-"

"You will never catch me!" Scapegrace yelled as he turned and tried to sprint away down the beach.

"We should probably go after him. He is actually wanted after all." Skulduggery sighed as he stood up from his chair.

Considering how hard Scapegrace had been hit, he was actually moving quite well. He really must've been used to getting beat up and trying to make a break for it.

Scapegrace started heading towards the hotel they were all staying in. It was a massive modern building directly across the road from where they had been sitting. And for some reason Scapegrace thought that the best way to escape was to go inside the building as opposed to losing them in the busy streets of Barcelona.

Scapegrace threw anything he could pick up backwards to try and obstruct his pursuers. He chucked buckets, spades, someone's shoe. He flew across the four lane road, getting honked at by numerous cars, and then crashed through the front doors of the hotel. Valkyrie and Skulduggery were in close pursuit whilst Ghastly tried to free Tanith back on the beach.

Scapegrace bustled his way through the busy foyer and shoved through a set of doors that led to the hotel restaurant. Waiters dove out of the way, causing food and drink to fly in all directions. Customers either got soaked, splattered with food or run over by the three maniacs sprinting through the restaurant.

Scapegrace made a B line for the kitchen and stumbled through the heavy metal doors. He glanced around and found his escape route. This was not going to be pleasant. He continued his sprinting as Valkyrie and Skulduggery crashed through the metal doors.

Valkyrie and Skulduggery got into the kitchen in just enough time to see Scapegrace jump into the garbage chute and disappear out of sight. That was a whole new low, even for him. They heard a string of cursing as Scapegrace realised the horrific decision he'd made on his escape route.

"I don't know about you, but I'm not in the mood to go into a garbage chute. I really don't think he's worth it." Valkyrie puffed out through deep breaths.

"What are you talking about? He is a very dangerous criminal and we need to get him off the streets." Skulduggery replied.

"Are you going in after him?"

"Of course not. I am way above garbage chutes."

"Well then. That's settled. Should we go back and see how Ghastly is getting on with Tanith?"

"Yes, I suppose we should."

"Do you have any way to get her out of those handcuffs?"

"Of course I do. But I'm not telling her that."

Valkyrie and Skulduggery strolled back to the beach. They received a lot of glares from people in the hotel who had been caught in the food crossfire but other than that everything seemed OK.

Tanith was still in the handcuffs and she looked severely agitated.

"Just get them off Ghastly!" she shouted.

"I can't." Ghastly laughed.

"Are you laughing? You better not be laughing Ghastly!"

"I'm not laughing, I swear." Ghastly tried keeping a straight face but he couldn't hold it for long.

"Skulduggery, please. Get me out of these things. I can't use my magic! Just get them off!" Tanith begged.

"I'm afraid there is nothing I can do. It seems you're stuck that way for a while until we figure something out…"

"Val, any ideas?"

"Sorry, I'm as clueless as the rest of them." Valkyrie shrugged.

"Oh please! One of you definitely knows a way out of cuffs! I'm sure you've all been in them enough to know how to get out."

"I take that as both an insult and a compliment. And you're right, we do know how to get out of them." Skulduggery nodded

"Well great, I knew you knew how to get out of them you bag of bones but would you mind you know, actually getting me out of them?!"

"Ah but that would be telling. I much prefer to see people learn by figuring it out themselves. If they're still on you by the time I come back from my walk, I'll be very disappointed in you." Skulduggery began to walk up the beach.

"But you will take them off after the walk right?" Tanith yelled after him.

"Maybe, I'll see what mood I'm in." Skulduggery replied over his shoulder.

Valkyrie and Ghastly both began laughing as Tanith struggled with the cuffs.

"Please guys, I'm begging you. Get them off." Tanith pleaded.

"This is what you get for letting Scapegrace get his hands on you." Valkyrie smiled.

"You're seriously going to leave me here with these things?"

"Yep."

"Unbelievable. You think you know people and then they leave you stranded in handcuffs."

"Don't be so dramatic, you're not stranded. We'll be here the whole time. We're just not going to help you." Ghastly laughed.

"Dammit Ghastly if you laugh one more time I'll-"

"You'll what? You're still in handcuffs so you can't do much."

"Oh you just wait till I get out!"

"We will. And we will enjoy every second of it too."

 **Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to leave a review to let me know what you thought. Feedback always helps!**


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